


this time

by popnographic



Series: SouHaru drabbles [7]
Category: Free!
Genre: (mostly angst tho. sorry.), Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/popnographic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you think… things would work out differently this time?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Sousuke answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this time

The streets around him are calm and relatively quiet; he’s only one of very few to be out at this time despite evening not having arrived yet. It’s nice, because it gives him time to just walk around at his own pace, to be in his own thoughts for a bit, before he returns back home, and they get too loud.

Sometimes, Haruka regrets having rejected Makoto’s offer of moving in with him. Well, Makoto lives with Rin now, so Haruka’s pretty sure he’d get sexiled more often than he’d get to actually be inside the apartment, so maybe it’s for the better. He’d probably just get in the way of their relationship, anyway, and wouldn’t have wanted to be a third wheel. Makoto also has a bad habit of catering to Haruka’s needs above even his own, which would obviously cause problems between him and Rin.

This is for the better. Haruka’s supposed to stay here in Iwatobi, Makoto and Rin are meant to chase their dreams, a concept Haruka _still_ doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to bother trying to figure it out. This is the way it’s supposed to be.

And yet he can’t help but feel like it isn’t.

Haruka rounds the corner down by the minimart and walks up the road leading to his house, and the Tachibana household where Makoto no longer lives. He occasionally visits the Tachibanas, but it’s been a while since his last visit. The more time passes, the worse Haruka feels about not having come over to at least say hello, and it’s a vicious cycle that just won’t end. They probably think he’s too busy—at least he _hopes_ so, because that’s at least a better explanation than the one he has to offer them.

He doesn’t make it very far before he spots a figure standing down by the steps up to his house, and his heart stops for a second when he realises who it is. Said figure turns to him when they hear his footsteps, and Haruka swallows hard.

“Haruka,” Sousuke breathes, and he wonders if it’s safe for him to keep walking, or if he’s going to accidentally crush something beneath his feet if he does. If he’s going to screw something up that’ll make things even _more_ awkward between the two than they already are.

“Hi,” Haruka replies lamely. “It’s… been a while.”

He wonders if it’s the right thing to ask why Sousuke’s there in the first place. To be honest, he’s wanted this for a while; he’s even considered going to see Sousuke himself far too many times, but in the end decided against it. Things weren’t meant to be back then, and he certainly wouldn’t want to push it.

“Yeah,” Sousuke says. He hesitates a little before he continues. “I’ve… missed you.”

The breath Haruka took a few seconds earlier comes out a shaky exhale, and he softly balls his hands into fists by his sides. The raw honesty in Sousuke’s voice is something that must’ve changed in the years they’ve been apart. Haruka doesn’t even know how _many_ years it’s been; all he knows is that he stopped counting once they hit the two-year mark without any kind of communication, and that was a while ago.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he admits, and it feels strangely _good_ to do so. Like chipping away at the still heavy boulder on his shoulders that’s been there ever since they last talked, and decided that the two of them together wouldn’t be a good idea, ‘at the time’. What about now? Are things different enough now that they could have a chance?

Sousuke laughs a little, and he both looks and sounds relieved in doing so. Haruka feels his shoulders relax a little, his hands doing the same, and he drops the shield he instinctively put up in front of him as soon as he saw Sousuke. It might not feel _completely_ safe yet, but he feels safe enough to drop his guard if even just a little bit.

Haruka wonders if ‘matured’ is the correct way of describing Sousuke’s change, because it automatically makes him compare Sousuke’s change to his own, which he feels is inexistent. He feels like he’s been at a stand-still all this time, while everyone else around him kept moving as if they hadn’t even noticed he stopped taking steps forward a while ago.

He gets a strange déjà vu feeling from this entire scene, and although things aren’t _exactly_ the same as that time, the situations bear enough resemblances for his heart to beat a little faster than normal. Feels hesitant on walking forward, as if he’s going to crush and destroy something beneath his feet if he takes even one step. But while he stays in place, Sousuke takes the initiative, and closes the distance, if even by just a few steps.

“How’ve you been?” Sousuke asks, and Haruka realises there are still things that just haven’t changed in either of them, because they’re still very bad at communicating, and the whole small-talk concept is still very foreign to the both of them. Haruka almost wants to smile at that, despite how sad it actually is, because it feels almost relieving that there’s something that _hasn’t_ changed between them.

“Good, I suppose.” It’s a half-lie, and Sousuke probably gets that, but Haruka doesn’t feel like elaborating. “You?”

“Neither good or bad… I guess.” Well, at least _one_ of them managed to be completely honest about that. “Things just haven’t been the same.”

“I know. Same… same here.”

The hesitation is still there, and the memory of his reunion with Rin in middle school is still fresh in his memory. Haruka does _not_ want to risk something similar happen with Sousuke when they’re way past that age, having graduated from both high school and university years ago. Who knows what kind of impact it could have considering the so vastly different circumstances despite the few similarities that are enough to make Haruka react to it?

“I wanted to contact you,” Haruka continues, feeling like he’s jumping straight into the unknown. If there’s something he’s learnt with the years, it’s that it’s crucial for him to speak his thoughts out loud, because not everyone is Makoto, not everyone can understand him without him having to open his mouth. “I just didn’t know how to. Or if it was okay, what I’d do once I managed to get a hold of you.”

Sousuke laughs, but it’s a laugh that lacks humour, and he shakes his head. “You have no fucking idea how many times I’ve thought of doing the same thing during these years. How many times I’ve begun walking over here to just turn around and go back home again. This is the first time I made it all the way here… and then I actually met you. Because of course I would.”

Haruka doesn’t know how to respond, but there’s a question begging to be asked burning on his tongue. He doesn’t know _how_ to ask it, but he doesn’t really care how it comes out, as long as it actually does. Sousuke might still understand him, anyway, and if he doesn’t, Haruka will just have to try again.

“Do you think… things would work out differently this time?”

“I don’t know,” Sousuke answers, and Haruka’s just about to give up hope, but then Sousuke continues. “But I’d make sure that it would work. If you wanted to.”

Haruka inhales sharply, and then takes a step further. “I do. I just didn’t think you did.”

Sousuke smiles at him, and it makes Haruka feel light. “Don’t just assume things, Nanase.”

“Hey, you’re not much better in that regard.”

“I know.”

He’s swept into Sousuke’s embrace before Haruka even has a chance to blink, but when he realises, all he does is return the embrace without another word.

“I don’t care if the time isn’t right this time around, either. I’ll make it work.”

“Me too,” Haruka sniffles against Sousuke’s jacket. “Together.”

“Haruka… Haruka… Fuck, I missed you.”

Sousuke’s voice is trembling, and Haruka’s heart aches. This time, they’ll make sure things work out, no matter what may try and stand in their way.

“I’m not letting you go this time,” Sousuke adds, and Haruka smiles to himself.

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> [radiodread](http://radiodread.tumblr.com) @ tumblr


End file.
